Mommy Dearest
There was no other way
The poison was too lethal
The antidote had to be a similar poison
Altered a bit
In the crazed mind of my mother
The product of a lunatic Finn
And a compromised Dane
Lethal from day one
Yet just enough love to keep
From delivering the final blow
Spending the last 20 years of her life
Able only to say I love you
Which I rejected because it was
So tainted with the poison
Living among cockroaches
In a slum apartment on the beach
With a red geranium for company
Never complaining
Seeing me through my
Own dance into darkness
Through Alzheimer’s with her
Crippled body
Refusing to let go
Even in a coma
Until that final sunset
In a private room
At Huntington Hospital
After seven days of my private farewell
I pulled the plug
A trusted minister’s arms around me
A nurse standing by
Watching
I said I was going to take a vacation
I lied
Old man and the sea I cried clutching my pearls
Facing the cyber maniacs and their endless eyes
My life in tatters
Sharks having shredded my Great White Hope which turned out to be another shark
All those years of my lonely and harsh efforts
Reduced to a single eye embedded somewhere in my solitary room
Watching
It is here
that reptilian monster scuttling around in my brain
through millennia and past lives
he has broken free
and is now staring at me
eyeball to eyeball
what to do
what to do
the monster is screaming extinction
all I have are a couple of numbers from corporate law firms I used to work for
I understand they now represent the nightmare clown of our dreams whom they helped elect president
they also represent my sociopathic ex husband from San Salvador
Perhaps prayer…
Is god listening?
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